I am happy to say that I work for leaders who believe in the value of independent thinking, but also consensus decisions. Currently, I am working through a critical decision that involves several different individuals' opinions.  It is rewarding to know that the discussion is focused on what is the right thing to do, not just for this particular situation and it's extenuating circumstances, but to take into consideration the impact on peer employees, and the future impact of the decision. One leader actually deleted my voice mail so that he could give me his opinion without knowing what the others thought — he expected to be an outlier, and, in fact, was not.

Once the decision was made, everyone that was part of the decision process supported the final outcome, regardless of how each felt during the decision process.  The communication of the decision was clear in it's purpose and anticipated outcomes, and was well accepted by it's audience.

I do believe it takes integrity and courage to know what is right, accept it, and then follow through.

Do you find yourself concerned about job security lately?  Many people do, and they look to their manager for guidance and assurance.  Typically a manager's best advice is to focus on immediate responsibilities and quality in execution.  Lately, I've been wondering what does that really mean?  I desperately needed an attitude adjustment -- and then one came my way!

I was attending a webinar sponsored by Monster.com on the topic of Gen Y.  That's where I picked up this interesting perspective on working successfully all the time, and it applies in nearly every situation!

The simple success trick is to treat everyone at work (except you) as your customer.  When you hold everyone in this high regard, and demonstrate strong customer service skills with each interaction, you will work more effectively, build relationships for future networking needs, and achieve greater job satisfaction. 

Here are 6 simple steps to follow:

1. Be a good team player.  Help your peers with their work load.  Offer to teach others the knowledge and skills that you have attained.  Don't hide from your supervisor -- be there to get the additional assignment.  Arrive early and leave late.

2. Listen, Listen, Listen.  When you listen, you learn.  Listen with your ears and your eyes, to get the full message. 

3. Craft your message carefully.  You want to make sure your message is being heard the way you intended, and vice versa.  Also consider the medium for message delivery.  Is email the best way, or should you make a call?

4. Ask questions.  Don't guess what the other person is thinking.  Don't hope or assume you know what they need or how they wanted something done or delivered.  Ask (and listen). 

5. Welcome feedback.  Ask questions, such as: Is this acceptable to you?  Is there something else that I can do for you? (And listen)

6. Be a problem solver.  Solve the problems that you can solve by yourself.  Know when you need to get help.  Be resourceful.  Raise bigger issues with potential solutions.

You know what I like best about this attitude adjustment?  It's straightforward and easy to remember and to follow through.

***Treat everyone at work as your customer***

The holly berry is the fruit of the holly bush and an important source of sustenance for many types of birds.  A holly bush is an attractive and lush shrub with dark green leaves.  However, if you reach inside this bush to pick one of the holly berries, you will most likely be met with a painful scratch, as the beautiful leaves are also quite spiny and sharp. 

What an interesting metaphor for life! 

Christopher Nolan, who recently passed away, was a gifted young man who suffered from cerebral palsy his entire life.  Although he could not speak or write, his gift was with words.  Trapped in a body that he had no control over, his mind worked overtime.  With the amazing wonders of technology, he wrote inspirational poetry and captured words with a simple identity, and transformed them into something more powerful.  One of his inspirations was about holly berries where he shifts our perspective and changes the meaning to the rewards among the sharp challenges in life. 

What are your Holly Berries?

A working mother I know spends significant portions of every day transporting her daughters and their friends from school to activities and back home.  Already there is an obvious conflict in that the mom needs to be in two places at once – at work and driving her daughters around.  Yet, this wouldn’t be nearly as bad as it actually is, if it weren’t for the challenges encountered along the way, such as other traffic, coordinating timing of all the activities, teenage emotions and hormones, and the need to eat and drink.  So why does this mom agree to endure these challenges, these spiny leaves?  Well, there just happens to be her holly berry – the connection, understanding and love that she is able to foster each and every day with her daughters.  It is this reward that leads to her feeling of abundance.

When I am coaching professionals on the development of their leadership skills, I sometimes have to point out a blind spot.  Delivering difficult messages has never been easy for me.  I like to focus on the positive and make people happy. However, I am not doing my job well if I don’t share my observations and insight if it’s something that can be used to move development forward.  So I need to get uncomfortable, put forth my observation, feel the push back (that’s my “ouch” point), and try again until there is some acknowledgment and awareness – that’s my Holly Berry!  It’s the moment when I gain a sense of fulfillment and abundance.

Life is not easy nor is it intended to be so.  Yet, we need to work towards a sense of abundance and richness in our lives.  Acknowledging your Holly Berries will help you persevere through life’s sharp challenges and reach the abundance you desire. 

I have been wondering about "Abundance" lately.  We all define it differently and it has many components, but I have been particularly focused on career abundance.  What kind of job do we need to have in order to feel abundant?

For those of us in the finance industry, the dream job was "Investment Banker" on Wall Street.  Along with exciting work, prestige, extravagant expense accounts, and mega bonuses were the rewards for the fortunate few who could land these jobs.  This is all past tense, at least for the near future.

Now what becomes the new dream job?  Where do we find our exciting work?  With a shrinking economy and fewer job opportunities, this question becomes even more relevant.  The "answer" requires us to re-evaluate how we individually define exciting and to look in places outside of our comfort zone.

Exciting can be something new:  Learn new skills and disciplines, tackle new business objectives, or build relationships with new co-workers.

Exciting can be adding value:  Join a committee or project team empowered to influence positive change at your company,  train others to do what you do, or leverage your skills at a non-profit organizations.

Exciting can be tackling challenges:  Lead change on a dysfunctional team, resolve a budget crisis, or foster innovation in a stagnant environment.

If any one of these ideas stirs something deep within you, than you may have the beginning of your answer.

I was reminded today of how hard it is to be who we want to be.  First we must free our minds, heart and soul to dream the new being.  Then we have to believe we can be this dream.  And finally we have to craft a plan to become this dream. 

For many, the most difficult step is the second one - believing we can be the dream - because we allow our fears to get in the way.  It doesn't matter what or why we fear, if we allow the fear to have any power over our actions and consciousness.  You see, fears damage our ego, our self-confidence, and our perspective.  Fears sabotage our efforts to move towards the dream. 

It's like being tripped, pushed down, or kicked in the shins. As one friend notes, her inner bully is suddenly able to affect her self-esteem.  We begin to question whether we can be successful at something "new."  Our inner bully is feeding us all the evidence to convince us that we can't.    And it sounds so real and true!

I like to think of it as negative and positive energy, the fuel of all activity.  Imagine if we were plugged into a wall outlet pumping positive energy to feed our self-confidence.  Suddenly, the switch is flipped, and the energy turns negative.  If we don't flip the switch back quickly, our physical and mental state becomes more inspired by the negative rather than the positive.  We slow down, cling to our comfort zone, second guess ourselves, and make mistakes.  So we slow down some more and eventually hibernate.  The next time you venture out, you regret the time lost.

The trick is to know how to flip the switch back to positive energy, and to do it quickly. We all have tricks that we have learned over time: talk it out with trusted friends, remember past successes, and consider the benefits of being the true you and living your values.  You have been successful before, and you will be again.  You can do anything!  Negative thoughts are false!

Most importantly, you need to avoid the temptation to wallow in the abyss of "why" you are affected by the negative energy.  If you can't -- if you have a strong need to understand the "why" because it feels too real, than take your question to a professional, learn a "new truth" from the self-analysis, and then let it be.  "One and done" as they say. 

So the next time you find yourself struggling to believe in your dream, it's time to flip the switch back to positive energy.  Or if you have an inner bully, then you give that bully one long stare down, and walk away. 

Walk forward. 

If you want, RUN! 

A colleague shared this thought with me today -- Sometimes it's really valuable to have a trusted friend within your organization that you can sound off to.  We all have those moments, and sometimes days, when we don't like what we are doing or who we are working with. 

It's so nice to have someone that you can complain to that "gets it."  Usually, your issue is temporary and doesn't need to be radically changed.  A contact within the organization can truly sympathize.  Why not your manager?  Well, maybe it's your manager that you need to gripe about!   With an established contact, you know you can trust her or him to keep your confidence and even help you see the lighter side of the situation. 

Sometimes your issue seems bigger than you can handle.  An "inside" resource has the potential value of sharing insight and advice to help you resolve your problem.  If you choose someone with several years of experience, they are more familiar with the organization's bureaucracy and culture.  They have learned through experience, or they know someone they trust to get good advice.   

The other day a colleague came to me looking for advice and support with addressing the stressful situation at work that she was experiencing.  She came prepared with a logical solution, a quick answer to her problems, the shortest distance to travel, so to speak.  Unfortunately, because she was so deep into the situation, she couldn't see that her solution would have a negative impact on her career. 

It's really tempting to take the shortest route, the shortcut approach, the easiest solution, when you are deep into a stressful situation.  But before you do that, I suggest that you examine a few things first:

1.  Remember that you are always making choices.  Your stressful situation is most likely a result of your choices, and not forces outside of your control.  Review the situation and identify the choices you made to bring you to this place.

2.  Validate all aspects of your situation.  Sometimes, we think we have to do something, be somewhere, achieve something, when that's not necessarily the case.  We can be stressed out over our imagination! 

3.  Consider your priorities.  Re-evaluate your goals and prioritize the ones that are most important to you at this time.  Priorities change.  Your perspective changes.  Make choices that align with your priorities. 

4.  Consider your values.  How do you define success at your job, at school, at home?  Are you a perfectionist at all things?  As you answer these questions, honestly reflect on what they mean, and who you need to be to live your values.  Make choices that align with your values.

5.  Don't forget to take care of yourself.  We often put ourselves last when it comes to juggling multiple priorities -- this is frequently true of women.  Last is not good!  If you are tired or ill, you lack the energy and patience to manage all your responsibilities.  You will not perform at your best level, which will only serve to frustrate you. 

In the end, the shortcut may be the best choice for you, but you won't know for sure unless you examine all aspects of the situation. 

Choose well!

My internet horoscope this morning said something about "today is the day to tackle my to do list."  My reaction was fairly neutral -- "Really?  Why today of all days?"

I don't even have a true "to do list" - but I know what needs to get done and I store that list deep in the pockets of my brain.  My horoscope made me think about my list, and I quickly (like in seconds) realized that it is getting kind of long. 

So, I started to move a little more quickly -- make the bed, get dressed, sort some laundry, and a load "in."  A good start to the day -- now I've earned my relaxation - breakfast, coffee, the newspapers, and FoxNews.

As I clean up after breakfast, I take care of my cats daily needs -- a 1/2 cup each and fresh water (yes, Brita-fresh out of the fridge...)  Down to clean the kitty litter...and that's when I am struck with the big "to do" on the list.  It was time to throw out, wash out, sweep up and prepare fresh boxes.  I hate this chore.  Sigh. 

But, in the middle of sweeping, a lovely methodical task if it wasn't for the flying fur and kitty litter granules, I realized that I was feeling a little bit better, a little bit more in control of my time and my "to do" list.  I'm feeling energized!?!? 

I can't believe it!  What am I going to do with this?  Write!  In my blog!  Wow!  Another item on my "to do" list!  I am going to write about this experience.  And now I'm doing it. 

I really love the feel of control, don't you?  In times when there is so little to control, we need to rejoice when we have it.  We need to take advantage of the control.  When I'm in control of my life's choices, I feel more balanced.  It's more than thinking "life is good" -- it's a feeling of peace with myself.  I'm making purposeful choices to do what I want to do - not a need to or have to, but want to, driving towards individual goals. It's a good feeling.  An Abundant feeling. 

My advice - Adopt a cat (save a cat!) or take action on your to do list today!

I saw a "great" job advertisement the other day at Burger King.  Yes, Burger King.  It was simple and direct:  Hiring Great Managers.  There it was on that big sign outside the building.  Three simple words.  To the point. 

I immediately saw how they were clearly requesting that "great managers" need only apply.  "Average" and "Poor" managers -- don't waste your time.  (Of course, they will, but that's a problem for another time.)

Assuming an applicant actually reads the sign before applying, it will take some confidence and belief in themselves that they are a great manager.  If you were a great manager, would you want to be a manager at Burger King, unless you were going to be working with other great managers?  And won't it feel good to be hired as a manager there, knowing they have high standards?

At the same time, the sign communicates to their customers that they value quality - we hire "great" people (...who are capable of serving "great" food with "great" customer skills.) 

All in three words.